Why my sons wear #44: Baseball, Racism, and My Last name

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Stranger: Which one is yours?
Me: The one right there. Haskins #44.
Stranger (looking at me to make sure I am white): Which one?
Me: The black kid right there.
Stranger: Oh really?

Awkward silence ensues

Ever since we brought Isaac and Jonah home from Ethiopia, this sort of interaction has been common for my wife around their sporting events.  Parents trying to match each player up with their appropriate family, begin to realize the colors don’t exactly coordinate with all the kids on the team.

To break the silence we usually say something like, “I can’t believe you didn’t notice the family resemblance?”  And in no way do we begrudge these moments. We have actually become very thankful for the opportunities they provide to talk about adoption and the gospel.

Much of our kid’s sports activities have centered around baseball. Right now, we have 4 boys playing in 4 different leagues, all at the same park. One benefit to spending so much time at the same ballpark is that everyone knows our family. They have also come to know that the Haskins’ kids come in all kinds of shapes, shades, and sizes.  And yet, there is one thing they all share in common. On the diamond, they all wear #44.

When my oldest son Titus began playing t-ball, we decided he would wear #44. We are big Atlanta Braves fans.  And while Chipper Jones will always be our favorite Brave, we thought the history that Hank Aaron represented was important for our family to remember and champion.

I do not agree with everything Aaron has ever said or done. However, I do respect the price he paid to play in the Majors. Jackie Robinson was responsible for breaking the color barrier in baseball.  But for men like Aaron, who began his career by playing primarily in the South, there were still many horrible obstacles to endure. I wanted my kids to know this about the ‘real’ HR king and appreciate it.

To begin with the #44 was just a unique tool to teach our kids about racism.  Honestly, for me, it was more about Braves folklore than anything else. However, now seeing this number underneath my last name on my son’s jerseys causes me to reflect more on my own story than anyone else’s.

I remember standing in line at the post office with the first gift I would ever give my two new sons, who were still in an orphanage in Ethiopia.  As I prepared to send two Atlanta Braves hats to them, I realized one day these boys would also wear #44.  I began to daydream about two little boys, once orphaned in Africa, running onto a little league diamond with my last name across their backs.  I began to tear up right there in the post office thinking about how amazing this would be to see.

As much as I hate to admit it, racism was a part of life in the small rural town in Tennessee where I was raised. Compared to the violence of the 50s and 60s it could have been considered a quiet racism.  But it’s underlying wickedness was just as loud as the Tennessee orange we wore every Saturday to cheer on our beloved Vols!

The residue of such awful days gone by could still be heard in words used around our dinner tables and in our churches on Sunday. In these private and still very segregated settings, words were spoken and jokes were told that would have started riots in our desegregated lunchrooms on Monday. My stomach still turns to think about the sort of racist hypocrisy that even I was guilty of behind the closed doors of my home and church.

That’s why the first time I actually saw all four of my sons, two white and two black, standing with my last name and #44 across their backs this number was more than just neat baseball history for me.  For me, it represented a redemptive moment for my whole family.  It represented a transformation that I have seen even among members of my extended family as they all have embraced my two newest sons.

This summer my kids were spending some time with my grandparents in Tennessee. One of my black sons, Isaac, crawled into my (very white) grandfather’s lap and asked him, “Are you a Haskins too?” My grandfather responded, “Yes sir. I’m a Haskins just like you!”
There was a day when he wouldn’t have been so eager to share his last name with a black grandson. I’m certain my family line included folks who thought Hank Aaron didn’t deserve to play Major League baseball because of his race.  And yet, that moment between my granddad and his grandson, formerly from Ethiopia, was a repudiation to the such racism.

Haskins #44 constantly calls my attention to these kind of stories that I thank God my family is experiencing.  Haskins #44 also reminds me that if the Father is ever asked, “Which one is yours?”  He will not be ashamed to say, “That one right there. Haskins the former racist!”

Maybe what we need is another scandal for Christmas

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Politicians having their skeletons fall out of their closets mid campaign. The uncovering of athletic programs associated with heinous crimes against children. Watching the destructive end of habitual immorality and drug abuse for athletes in their prime.

There’s no shortage of such scandalous footage on Fox News and ESPN these days.

Whether it’s someone I know, or someone I only even vaguely know of, seeing another person hit rock bottom after spiraling down in patterns of hidden wickedness always shakes me up.

On some level the unveiling of such secret information about others hits a certain nerve within all of us. Not because we are all guilty of the same things. Or that we are all hiding sins that must have the same level of consequences. But, on the most basic level these stories scare us because no matter how scandalous the information may be we all have evidence we are hiding.

We all constantly feel the weight of having things beyond the surface of our lives that we believe could destroy us if leaked into the wrong hands. Maybe not destroy us in the sense that we deserve to be imprisoned, fired from our jobs, or that would cause our spouse to move out. But, information that we personally believe would kill the image we work hard to create and keep before others.

It could be as seemingly insignificant as the tone we use with our wife and kids when no one else is around. Or the small exaggerations we use concerning the character of others that we are convinced really aren’t that big of a deal. For some of us, it’s the way we act and the things we murmur under our breath while watching our favorite sports teams play. Or maybe it’s a nagging bitterness we still harbor toward a co-worker for a comment they made nearly two months ago.

This sort of information about ourselves would not require church discipline if handled correctly before the Lord. And yet, we are committed to keeping these allegations private. This is the kind of evidence we would never tweet about or copy and paste into our Facebook status.

The Christmas story reminds us that the solution to our public and private scandals is found in embracing another scandal. The Bible tells the story of the scandal that not only exposes us for who we really are but also transforms our public and behind the scenes guilt.

This scandal begins with a peasant girl from Bethlehem who in secret finds out that she is pregnant. Her side of the story was not hidden immorality before marriage but the hidden work of the Spirit of God in her womb.

We are so accustom to this story we forget how scandalous it is. We like to think that we would have accepted Mary on the spot as the mother of the Messiah. But, I feel sure I would have stood alongside the folks in the local assembly boycotting any baby showers in our fellowship hall. If I had been Joseph’s accountability partner, I know the sort of wisdom I would have spoken into his life. It would not have included following through with the marriage.

The twist to this story is that the scandal Joseph and Mary find themselves in is not one they had been trying to cover up. They found themselves in the middle of a story their people had been waiting to come to light since the beginning of time.

It wasn’t their scandal but they embraced it!

This story finds it’s climax in the most scandalous event in all of human history. The ‘scandal free’ Son of God embraces all the evidence that can be found against us. He makes it His own on the cross. There before the cosmos as the sinner we work to hide from the world He declares, “All the allegations are true!” On the cross our sin is exposed as what it really is, an offense against God Himself. The price of our all offenses, public and private, are displayed as the Son of God screams to His Father, “Why me?”

At His crucifixion, our scandals are leaked as His blood is poured out. The allegations become evidence that can only be dealt with by His public humiliation and death in our place. He does what only He can do. What His name says He will do. Save us from our sins!

When we confess our sins, the cross frees us from all our scandals, even those that may not require public repentance and restoration and even those that might. No matter how scandalous our sins may be the Christmas story is a greater scandal. The only hope any of us have is not by avoiding scandal but by faith trading our own for His.

Maybe what we need is another scandal for Christmas!

Why our kid’s need a scorekeeper

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Like it or not kid’s are selfish. This is one reason why I’m committed to my kids having to participate in things that force them to come to terms with the reality that the universe doesn’t revolve around them. Playing sports has been this central activity for our family. Walking our boys through the process of learning controlled aggression, teamwork, and failure through competition is something for which my wife and I are abundantly thankful for as parents. This is why I’m disheartened by the practice of not keeping score for fear of harming children’s self-esteem. This trend jeopardizes the basic benefits of competition.

Check this article by Dr. David Prince writes “Why Every Kid Should Be A Winner And A Loser”

Here he argues for keeping score in youth sport from a biblical perspective.

I’m Glad It’s Tebow Time (For Now)

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I’m glad Tim Tebow is having success winning these days. But it’s really is hard for me to watch. Not because I am a Tennessee fan who had to endure his ‘just winning’ antics while he was in Gainesville for four years. I just really don’t think ‘Tebow Time’ will last very long in the NFL.

Explaining to my sons that I don’t believe Tim Tebow will be a long-term NFL quarterback has been quite humorous. For one, in their minds it sounds like a joke. They watch the games, see the highlights, and look at me as if I have lost my mind. Like everyone else seems to be doing they respond, “But Dad! He’s Tim Tebow!”

It’s also difficult because I love the way this guy talks and plays. And he does both! He’s a Christian who always talks about Jesus. But even more, he is a Christian who always plays like Jesus.

You see I don’t think Jesus would win the ‘Christ-like award’ that we often hand out in our christianized sports world. We usually think to give those type of awards to the kids who are meek, quite, and who couldn’t get one of the more athletic awards.

Jesus would be a tenacious athlete. I’m sure He would often finish games bloodied and bruised (along with his opponents), leaving every ounce on the field. I speculate that He would play football much like Tim Tebow (except with a better throwing motion and more accuracy).

Tebow’s response to former Denver QB Jake Plummer, who basically confessed he was tired of hearing about Tebow’s Christianity, has made it difficult to think about a future NFL without him under a center.

Plummer’s Comments

“Tebow, regardless of whether I wish he’d just shut up after a game and go hug his teammates, I think he’s a winner and I respect that about him,” said Plummer. “I think that when he accepts the fact that we know that he loves Jesus Christ, then I think I’ll like him a little better. I don’t hate him because of that, I just would rather not have to hear that every single time he takes a good snap or makes a good handoff.

“Like you know, I understand dude where you’re coming from … but he is a baller. He knows how to win and when your teammates believe in you that you can do good things and that’s what they are doing. They are winning. That’s fun to see.”

Tebow’s response:

“If you’re married, and you have a wife, and you really love your wife, is it good enough to only say to your wife ‘I love her’ the day you get married? Or should you tell her every single day when you wake up and every opportunity?

“And that’s how I feel about my relationship with Jesus Christ is that it is the most important thing in my life. So any time I get an opportunity to tell him that I love him or given an opportunity to shout him out on national TV, I’m gonna take that opportunity. And so I look at it as a relationship that I have with him that I want to give him the honor and glory anytime I have the opportunity. And then right after I give him the honor and glory, I always try to give my teammates the honor and glory.

“And that’s how it works because Christ comes first in my life, and then my family, and then my teammates. I respect Jake’s opinion, and I really appreciate his compliment of calling me a winner. But I feel like anytime I get the opportunity to give the Lord some praise, he is due for it.”

Just because I critique his throwing motion and point out how long he holds the ball (which seems to be years compared to an Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady) doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate this man.

I really hope I am wrong about his longevity in the NFL. I hope we get to hear more of this kinda of stuff for a really long time. I also hope we get to see him ‘just win like Jesus’ for many more years.

So for now, like it or not, as a skeptic about his quarterback skills, I will gladly take my seat on the Tebow bandwagon. Loving the way he talks and plays. And yet, hating the fact I don’t think ‘Tebow Time’ will last long.

Racist Freewill Baptist Church Denies The Gospel

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To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. – ephesians 3:8-10

On Sunday Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church in Kentucky voted to deny the gospel of Jesus Christ. And it has nothing to do with their doctrinal statements about eternal security. It has to do with their decision to deny interracial couples membership and participation in their congregation.

In Ephesians 3:10, Paul declares that diversity in the body declares the triumph of the gospel of Jesus Christ. This 9-6 vote on Sunday declares the opposite for this church. It proclaims the triumph of the forces of darkness who delight in such racism.

This is not just backwood’s tradition. Its a satanic denial of the gospel. Its a rejection of Jesus Christ whose glory is made know through the acceptance of people from every, tribe, tongue, and nation into his family and delights in their participation in His worship services.

Here is the proposal

“That the Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church does not condone interracial marriage. Parties of such marriages will not be received as members, nor will they they be used in worship services and other church functions, with the exception being funerals. All are welcome to our public worship services. This recommendation is not intended to judge the salvation of anyone, but is intended to promote greater unity among the church body and the community we serve.” Submitted to the church business committee November 9, 2011 for their consideration by Melvin Thompson, member, Gulnare Freewill Baptist Church.

Thanksgiving w/ Paul

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I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.

To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.

1Timothy 1:12-17

Marriage is more than a facebook status

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It is easy to tell everyone how much you love your wife on Facebook. It is not hard to talk about how great she is in public. But marriage is not that easy. Anyone who communicates something different, either is not married or is probably hiding something.

Now, I certainly do not want to hear all the deepest darkest evils of your spouse. I’m not sure its wise to broadcast to the world all your secret struggles. Its just the more I read my Bible the more I realize that Jesus tells us a story about marriage that looks nothing like the fairytales we read to our daughters.

The story he tells of marriage in the Bible too often reads more like a horror film. There is lots of war, blood, and guts. Not to mention the centerpiece of the story is an instrument of torture, the cross. And yet it is a love story. It’s a love story that will get you through the difficulties of marriage.

The Bible’s love story tell us that the way you get through difficulties is not by selfishly avoiding them but by embracing them the same way Jesus did. Instead of forsaking his bride, He cried, “My God my God why have you forsaken me?” so she would never be forsaken.

As gruesome as it sounds, we know that the difficulties don’t tell the whole story. There’s a resurrection and a coming kingdom marked off by a tremendous wedding feast. Its true marriage isn’t easy but there is also a mysterious glory found beyond the hard times.

The Bible tells us that Jesus embraced the shame of the cross for the joy set before Him. May we not try to gloss over the difficulties of marriage communicating something weak and artificial to the watching world. May we embrace the difficulties that lie behind our facebook statuses and picture albums.  Just as Jesus embraced our difficulties may we believe there is a greater joy in sacrificing for one another.

Wisdom in Proverbs? Interview w/ David Prince

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Sunday night at our Access service in Madison County on the Campus of EKU we began a sermon series through the book of Proverbs.  Here are some videos pastor David and I did in preview to the series.

 

Walk This Way Interview Part I – Wisdom Defined from ACCESS_ASHLAND on Vimeo.

Walk This Way Interview Part II – Jumbled Proverbs from ACCESS_ASHLAND on Vimeo.

Walk This Way Interview Part III – Spirituality & Wisdom from ACCESS_ASHLAND on Vimeo.